Life here at IIM I gives you a lot of time to think if you are so inclined. Dopey discussions about  life& girls often precede heated arguments about why you  came to this place in the first place. Amongst the various reasons I have read/heard, the most common of course is the standard issue 9mm  reason- "I always wanted to do an MBA because I want to get a " manager's view point" on business, ( or more colorfully, get a " bird's eye view') I of course, think that is  pure bull %^&* , as do a lot of other people .

Of course, as I go around armed with sarcasm, I too am not spared the question and often, people ( parents, relatives, CAT aspirants, Indore junta, ) ask me how I can say that I always wanted to do an MBA.

To be a nice ( read politically correct) guy, I obviously palm off a hasty " bird's eye view " ..  sagely nods follow and conversation drifts to our 'unfair' pay packages. As the congregation gets more comfortable with an IIM grad amongst  them they become more forthcoming and honest, and conclude in view of my inscrutable expression that the prime purpose of my life , ( and everyone else's too) is to make money, and I should not be apologetic about it. Money IS  the motive force, and  how could I say that the purpose of my life is to sell soaps & oil to groups of naked, hungry children & their mothers in some god forsaken village 60 Kms north of Darbhanga ( or wherever the hell of rural marketers is)

I of course , could not agree with this more, but I don't argue. I walk away.  I never tell them a darker secret.

I am a control freak. As are, I suspect, a lot of other chaps at B schools.

Money does not turn me on, power does.

Think about it.

Aren't we all  taught that It's all about mindshare and TOMA and what-not…. We are taught to make sure that what people see is only us, what they hear is only us, what they experience is only us. So that what they end up buying, (no prizes for guessing)is of course, .. only us.

We are taught to cocoon them in our communication. For god's sake , we even talk about conditioning their behavior and vie with each other  to see who's the best modern Pavlov. We reduce consumers to dumb suckers who should salivate when we ring the bell. ( this of course, is a  very horrifying image and very  extreme, but it  is just an illustration. My apologies to all  genuinely  gentle souls. But I   hope I made myself clear :P :P )

Now,  If THIS is  not seeking control and domination, if  this  is not seeking power, If this  is not what control freaks do, I would like to know what it IS actually that they do. ( apart from the padded handcuffs stuff of course ;)  )

To put it a bit differently, I say that after 2 months of summers, I have come to realize that the prime purpose of my life here IS to sell soaps and oil. See, it's not so much about the actual selling of soap,( I won't be doing that anyway)  its more about making people think the way I want them to do. It's about controlling their lives, about permeating their consciousness. It's purely about  love and lust of power and control.

Real power comes not from money, it comes from influence. It comes with that knowledge that you are the 'architect'. It comes with that wonderful feeling that only you get  when  people around you  think that they are in control, but they are not .you are.

I wonder how prudent it would be to say all this stuff when  reasons for doing an MBA are discussed in an actual GD/PI. You would get kicked out summarily I guess. (at the same time however,  they might tell you how they appreciate your 'out of the box thinking' and laud you for being a revolutionary thinker, but,…. no thank you.)

Further, imagine if this were the topic for a GD !!

I am sure there will be many 'holier than thou ' men/women who would pooh pooh all this as mere driveling and say that the reason why THEY want to do an MBA because of how they actually want to serve the poor and kiss lepers or whatever.

There might be a few honest chaps who will say they want to do an MBA because they want to make money fast, and easy. Fair enough.

There will be a few people who actually are in love with an MBA and were fortunate enough to be so from their 'formative years' !

But I don't think we will come across many people who will admit to being control freaks and tell the real reason that they want to do an MBA  is that they want control.

Control, influence, is what gives me a kick. I of course, would not be so cheeky to suggest that I knew this all along , but I have come to this conclusion after long deliberations.

Now if it  is egoistic  to claim that control gives me a kick, then I plead guilty. But the truth remains. Money does not excite me, power does. I am here to learn how to influence, control & dominate. Period.

I shall now go and study marketing FMCGs or something,  and of course think about how I can garner more mindshare and go about my mission of dominating poor unsuspecting idiots of all races and color.

:P :P

Peace.

Out.